Tissue Paper

You know, I cried yesterday when the department manager of the Perioperative Department (acting officer in charge) talked to me together with my manager while the Associate Director for the Patient Care Services was on leave.

They reprimanded me because I was already more than 11 days absent, and those were unauthorized. My last day of work was November 2, 2020, night shift at the neuro critical care unit.

The topics discussed were about my absences and the notice to explain that I need to do if the paper is already received by the Employee Labor Relations Department. Until now, I am still waiting for their call.

Until now, I am still waiting for my PRC license to come too. It’s already long overdue.

You know what I discovered about myself: I am afraid of responsibility and commitment. But what they told me, “Hindi na daw ako bata.. so I should decide what I want, and the patient is my responsibility when on duty. How can they assure my commitment to them, if I am afraid to commit.”

What I told them, “I would like to finish my contract”, but since I was more than 11 days absent at work already. It is already grounds for termination.

So, please pray for me. Lord, have mercy.

One good thing I like about the room I entered was the painting on the wall of the associate director’s office. It was tainted green, white and with shades of brown. It was an image of trees and bamboo and a body of water, some sort of river. But the river was not tainted blue. It was white in color. Still blessed to have that talk with Maam Manahan and Maam Cunanan – Flores.

My mama said, I should send my resignation letter immediately before they tell me to resign at work to save my name.

Still, I am grateful of the tissue paper they offered me. Though my eye makeup was smudged, because I did not have a handkerchief with me.

I don’t know how they are going to decide about my case. Still thankful.