Gising pa rin

Guys, it’s already the 24th of May. Ambilis ng oras, ni hindi ko namalayan na dumaan ang Abril. Mayo na ngayon, malapit na mag Hunyo.

Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa Lord, kasi yung nawala kong 9,000 pesos, nakabalik siya sa akin. Thank You God!

So, after ko mag file ng complaint sa BPI, after 2 days, naibalik na sa account ko yung money.

But the problem is hindi pa rin ako marunong mag budget. But, I know matututunan naman yun.

Moreover, kahapon, meron akong bagong nurse na kasama sa ER. I tried to teach her. Hindi ko alam ituturo ko sakanya.. I just tried to teach her kung ano yung tinuro din sakin before ng preceptors ko at senior nurses.

This new nurse is 10 years older than me. Mejo strict ako kanina. She asked, if educator daw ako, or CI, kasi mejo strict ako. Sabi ko hindi. Tapos, sabi niya baka daw nag mamasteral ako. Sabi ko naman, oo. So, I tried to teach lang kanina. And I tried to correct her if may mali siya.

What I liked about her, nagtatanong siya if tama ginagawa niya, and magaling siya magsalita na mapapalagay loob mo sakanya. Kaso, nakita niya kanina na pinagalitan ko yung nursing assistant, after quite some time, pinagsabihan niya ako… na mejo off daw ginawa ko sa nursing assistant with the way I talked.

Ang sabi ko, minsan lang ako magsalita, so ang dating mukha akong galit. Pero, nagtatanong lang naman ako. I just needed clarity about a certain issue sa triage at ER.

I appreciated what she said kahapon sakin. Hindi ako perpekto. I learn also from other people, especially the students and mentees. I learned from her. Sinabihan niya ako, ganun din daw siya noon.. pero she changed it.

Kapag daw naiinis siya or galit, she tries to count 1 to 5 and then saka siya nagsasalita. Then, hindi na siya masyadong galit pakinggan. So, I guess, gagawin ko rin yun. Kasi daw pag hindi ko yun binago, lalayuan daw ako ng mga tao. haha. She has a point. Kaya mejo loner ako. haha. lol.

Thank you God, kasi hindi lang ako natututo sa libro kundi sa mga tao na nakakasalamuha ko.

So, after this.. I will try to sleep na. Duty pa ako mamayang morning. Good night.

Dear subscribers

I don’t know kung ano yung mga gusto niyo na isulat ko dito..

I hope you can message me, if you have any comments, suggestions or violent reactions.

I would gladly appreciate it.

Kahit isa na lang ang nagbabasa sa mga sinusulat ko.

I will still say thank you, for spending time to read my nonsensical posts about my thoughts, opinions, and journey.

Thank you again. 🙂

The Value of Money

I always hear grannies tell this to their younglings, you will only value something once it’s lost.

But, would you wait until you lose it for you to value it?

So, what happened to me, I received my cash income last Friday worth 11,000 pesos.

I rewarded myself to eat a carrot cake and a cup of coffee at The Coffee Bean along Lacson, last Friday. I don’t regularly drink coffee that’s why it’s a reward for me.

Then, I also ate a mymix and a dear darla solo from Yellowcab.

Then, I went home.

During the weekend, I ordered from Food Panda, a Lola Nena’s classic donuts, and a Cafe latte at Bo’s Coffee.

I also cooked some food at home from the groceries I bought last month. Thank God I still have stocks.

Until recently, I only have 9,700 pesos left.

After my gloomy code blue duty today, I decided to go to BPI to deposit my remaining 9,000 pesos.

However, I am such a fool that I didn’t even counter checked if the numbers I typed were my account number digits.

Until, I pressed deposit.

After quite some time, I realized that no money was deposited in my account. Maybe I foolishly typed wrongly.

It’s the first time I lost a huge amount of money amounting to 9,000 pesos. I only have 700 pesos left in my purse and I will budget it until my next cash income on the 30th of May.

Can I make it? Can I survive with 700 pesos until next sweldo? Hmm.

So, that means… I’ll be cooking my food and I’ll not buy outside.

That means, I’ll refrain from ordering from restaurants.

That means, I’ll refrain from using a food panda delivery service.

That means, I’ll refrain from going to the mall.

Please don’t tell my mama. I’m deads. hahaha.

As much as possible, I don’t want to ask money from my parents for my bills for food, wifi, electricity, and tuition.

I want to prove to myself that I can survive on my own. I need to learn how to fend for myself, and how to take care of myself.

I told my sister what happened to me awhile ago. She was the first one to know, and my papa.

Moral of the story: “Mahirap pala mawalan ng pera na pinaghirapan.” It’s difficult to lose money once you have earned it yourself with your own blood, sweat and tears. This incident reminds me to be more responsible in handling money, to be more wise with how I allocate my money. It taught me as well that I should learn how to cook my food and not to buy outside.

Hello adulting! Budget. Budget. Cook. Cook. Hehe.

I will try to make a complaint on Wednesday at BPI, if I can retrieve the money I lost.

Time is so precious

Guys, time is so precious, be generous with it, but be intentional about it.

I remembered my professor back in MHA,

The doctor told us, that everyone had been given 24 hours a day.

The question is, how do you allocate your time spent?

What do we do with the remaining hours that we have?

Every day is a chance to thank God for waking us up,

that we are still alive up to this time amidst of the contagion lurking at every corner.

How can we save our time and allot it to a more effective cause?

Can dreams be really stolen?

Have you ever had a dream? or an idea?

Then, someone infiltrated your space and took it from you?

If it was stolen, was it really meant for you?

Before I became a Christian in high school,

I am so selfish of my ideas, my strategies, and my plans;

I keep it to my self, because I don’t want to be defeated.

I wanted to be Top 1.

I want to work on the goal that I have, and I focused really well.

I studied well. I am quite good with individual sports too.

Although I tried team sports, but I am not a good team player;

Also, I never even joined a cheer dance competition when I was young.

However, I am more inept with solos.

Moving on, if that dream was stolen, was it really God given?

Can dreams be really stolen?

I remembered a man in the Book of Matthew, when he discovered a treasure hidden in a field; in his excitement he hid it again and sold everything he owned to buy the field. It was the parable of the hidden treasure, which was described like the kingdom of Heaven. (See Matthew 13:44)

If I will try to consolidate, dreams like ideas: tangible or not are very essential to a person who had it, but sometimes, they can be taken away too, because we are not yet in paradise. We are on earth, people make mistakes, even Christians who claim to have Christ in them. It doesn’t exempt anyone.

However, dreams are still dreams, like visions and prophecies.

Can time that had been stolen, be given back?

Do dreams that had been thwarted from the start be redeemed?


Today is a very teleserye like day in the emergency room.

After I admitted a pregnant woman in the delivery room, there came a female patient aged 73 years old, who immediately fainted after reproving two youngters who were having a fight. This sudden fainting is what we call syncope in medical term.

So what happened awhile ago, this lola was carried by her grand daughters and some guys in the emergency room.

As for the hospital’s protocol, only the patients who had undergone antigen swab test which tested negative are the only ones who can enter the emergency room. Initially, they must be handled first and seen in the triage if the patients and the relatives have no RTPCR or antigen test.

So, our security guard awhile ago, got panicky when the grand daughters were crying outside the ER, crying out to help their lola.

The security guard informed me immediately. However, he left his post to go to the triage to get a wheel chair. So, the relatives entered the emergency room without swab tests.

I was in a state of shock, not because of the person who fainted, but because of the persons who entered the ER.

Then, this grand daughter was calling my attention to help their lola. “Nurse ka, bakit wala kang ginagawa??!”

I told them, “Maam, sandali.”

I told them that they are not allowed to enter the ER but they infiltrated the door, because the guard left his post.

The Nurse Assistant Maam Michiku took the lola’s vital signs, and did her initial assessment. Then, I informed the resident on duty that the patient still had no swab and was taken inside the ER. So, the entire emergency room now was exposed. I was reprimanded by our resident. And in turn, I reprimanded as well the security guard not to leave his post. Since, it will take four hours to disinfect the ER via UV light, and there are also other patients that we need to cater.

I took the Capillary Blood Glucose of the patient. I took also the ECG. So, the result had inverted “t waves”

The orders of the resident were as follows:

Take antigen test, then…

  1. CBG,
  2. ECG,
  3. X Ray,
  4. Na (135 to 145 meq/L)
  5. K (3.5 to 5 meq/L)
  6. Creatinine (60 to 110 umol/L [Female] & 70 to 120 umol/l [Male])
  7. Troponin ( 0.00 to 0.04 ng/ml)

The result of the antigen test was negative,

CBG was 107 mg/dl,

ECG had inverted “t waves”,

X ray had slight prominent densities,

Na and Potassium were sent out from the hospital because the laboratory had no machine for it. The result after two hours of waiting was with in normal range.

Then, Creatinine was also within normal range, and troponin qualitatively was negative.

I’ve learned today that Troponin can be taken qualitatively and quantitatively. However, the hospital only has qualitative result only for Troponin.

Troponin is an enzyme or protein that is used for the evaluation of heart injury.

Moving on, the patient woke up and she had a GCS of 15, responsive, coherent and conscious. Thank God.

So, the funny part of this day was the security guard made his amends to me by giving me four green carabao mangoes before the duty ended. Para daw bati na kami. Hahaha!

I gave one mango to Sir Chrysan who was having his last day of duty for tonight, then another mango to Maam Anjo, the midwife at the triage. So I was left with two green mangoes.

I thank the guard and I told him not to leave his post anymore. I told him that it’s okay to go to the triage but it should not be wrong timing. Hehe.

So, I had a wonderful duty today. My resident doctor gave me a dinner meal of milkfish and rice. Also, another blessing awhile ago was our lunch from McDonald’s donated by a kind soul who did not tell his identity.

Thank you Lord for the sustainance. 🙂

What are dreams made of?

I’m already 30 by now.

Time went by so fast, since I graduated college in year 2011. I didn’t even notice.

When I was young, I’ve been an obedient child. I pleased my parents by studying hard and well. I’ve been doing what others tell me to do for quite some time.

I graduated and passed the nursing licensure exam.

I’ve been fearing failure that’s why I always give my best not to fail.

But, do we attract what we fear? Since, I’ve had a taste of it in Med school and in my MHA.

Time is so precious.

Don’t be like me who wasted a lot of time by not forgiving my mistakes done in the past.

Sometimes, when we feel anger.. we put punishment on ourselves that we can’t project to other people. That’s the reason why other people get sick. Hehe. Unforgiveness and resentment and freedom withheld to enemies.

So, choose to forgive. It sets every crooked lines straight.

I remembered my sister, she told me that she doesn’t like being told what to do. I think we all have experienced this. We don’t like other people telling us how to lead our lives, because we think that we can take the stirring wheel of our ship and navigate it to how and where it should go, that we are in control.

Moreover, I don’t think that I committed a grave sin in the past compared to others. I haven’t had any immoral relations. I did not kill anyone. I just fell obsessively in love many many years ago.

I tortured myself, punished myself by not taking care of myself physically, after being rejected. I grew big, you know. I don’t want to go back to that phase anymore, where I just lost control of myself.

Real love I think, won’t let you experience that. Or I don’t know. It’s horrifying. If I will justify the action, maybe it was a tough love, but then again, I was not used to getting rejections. That’s why.. I broke down into pieces metaphorically.

Although, I believe real love will bring out the best in you and will not put you in that afflictive situation.

Instead of keep on insisting what we want.. Let’s surrender our future to the will of God. I think of God as a heavenly being.. who created the wonderful universe that we live in, the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, the fishes, the plants and the animals and the people around us.

When I was growing up… I was always told to dream big.

But, dreams? What are dreams made of?

Jaira May

Hi beautiful people! So, I’ll share to you Jaira May.

She said that today is her birthday. She is thirteen years old today.

She is a morena sweet girl. She often calls me in messenger whenever she likes. Although, there was this one time that I told her to just text me before calling, because I might be busy doing things that I need to do. I met her at New Beginning Community Church at Mandaluyong from many many years ago, when I was still studying for Medicine. She was from Sunday school of the Church.

Jaira means “He will light up” in Hebrew. It’s the feminine form of Jairus.

May is “the fifth month”. The month of May was named for Maia, the Roman earth goddess. Also a short form of the names Matthew and Mary.

She agreed for me to be her mentor yesterday, and to be my disciple. Thank You God.

I don’t really get how to do this discipleship thing. Is there a manual to use? How to put boundaries to maintain respect? How to take care of their soul as an accountability partner? Should I start including them in my prayers?

I’ve heard a lot of Christians telling other people to disciple. But how do they do it? I don’t know. I’m clueless.

I’ve just observed them having small groups online. Should I do the same?

I don’t know if she can understand my point of view, since she is so young, like we’re 17 years apart. At a very young age, she have undergone already so much difficulties, which is way harder than my present and past struggles. I have not been a mother before. I don’t know how to effectively do this. I just want the best for her. I want her to dream big and to finish her studies. I believe she has a bright future ahead of her. (praying)

Discipleship 2021

Yesterday was Labor day. The conference for Victory Christian Fellowship Discipleship 2021 was held online.

I listened to the entire event.

It was beautiful, the worship, the talks, the entire conference.

How difficult it is to be a salt and light to our place of influence, because chances are we may irritate a wound if there’s an open wound in that area because we are the salt.

“There are times that maybe we irritate those people because of self righteousness and the wrong narrative of the gospel we give them, rooted in religiosity. However, we may irritate them as well in a good manner because the gospel speaks the truth to them, which can lead to eventual healing of their wounds”, Ate Nikki said.

I’m so touched with the prayer part for the next generation. I cried while praying. But, I know that our faith is not merely dependent on feelings. God is real even though we can’t see Him tangibly.

Have you ever felt this burden?

What happens when we are already dead and gone?

What happens to the next generation?

Will they be able to pass it on?

Life is too short wasting our time to be at war with ourselves and our personal issues; adding up to that as well our present hard times being experienced, including this pandemic. Life is so hard but I believe it is still beautiful.

Discipleship is a difficult task, but I am really praying to be able to lead others to Christ as well in spite of my weaknesses.

No one’s perfect. I’m not perfect but I believe that God created me fearfully and wonderfully. I am loved by God. So, I need to radiate this love to others too by God’s grace. Nothing is too hard to the Lord. I just know that somehow I can make a difference too.