How can I keep from singing

I woke up today to attend my online class for my MSN (Master of Science in Nursing) Group Dynamics from 8 am til 10 am. I mixed my Soygreen in a water container and drank it. Then I attended zoom. Our group reported for today and we discussed about verbal, non verbal communication and levels of communication. Our group finished reporting early today. So, our professor doc Mikee Aggari let us leave zoom earlier than 10 am, to prepare for the next class.

Then, at 10 am, I attended class with my classmates for Research and Statistics with Doc Rudy Borromeo. he discussed about the hypothesis on research, and some of my classmates presented on their thesis’ statement of the problem. Thank you God for giving me the strength to attend class.

After the class, I’ve read some devotionals. Then, I sang today for the first time the song with the creator of the song having the code numbers of 4.7.6. in a song app, “How can I keep from singing” by Chris Tomlin.

"How Can I Keep From Singing"

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

Writer(s): Redman Matthew James, Tomlin Christopher D, Cash Edmond Martin

After singing, I had my two water jag containers refilled from the Mansion water store and I ate today a chicken shawarma that I liked and a 2 piece shanghai with rice at Piy Margal Street. Then, I went to Bambang to buy a box of face mask via tricycle with a fare of about P50.00. After that, I decided to just walk from Bambang up to where I stay.

I realized that Bambang is not that far pala. I should have walked towards it na lang. But it’s okay.

Then, I went to the water store to ask their boy to lift my two heavy water container jugs at my room’s outside door of the third floor. Then, I lifted them both inside my room. Then, I read few devotionals again from Nicky Gumbel’s 365 day whole bible for one year. What struck me today from day 143 is this verse:

Praise be to God,

    who has not rejected my prayer

    or withheld his love from me!

Psalm 66:20

The verse above is one of the best verses that reminded me of God’s love for me today. Thank You Lord.

Sometimes, we tend to get so disturbed of our challenges in life, forgetting how good our great God is. Sometimes, we tend to listen to the lies of the enemy but reading God’s word will remind us that God is still sovereign above everything.

I am created to worship the Lord, my Creator, my God. So, how can I keep from singing Your praise, Lord.

Bless the Lord oh my soul. I feel so elated today. God is so good.

Good night. God bless my readers. 🙂

Gising pa rin

Guys, it’s already the 24th of May. Ambilis ng oras, ni hindi ko namalayan na dumaan ang Abril. Mayo na ngayon, malapit na mag Hunyo.

Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa Lord, kasi yung nawala kong 9,000 pesos, nakabalik siya sa akin. Thank You God!

So, after ko mag file ng complaint sa BPI, after 2 days, naibalik na sa account ko yung money.

But the problem is hindi pa rin ako marunong mag budget. But, I know matututunan naman yun.

Moreover, kahapon, meron akong bagong nurse na kasama sa ER. I tried to teach her. Hindi ko alam ituturo ko sakanya.. I just tried to teach her kung ano yung tinuro din sakin before ng preceptors ko at senior nurses.

This new nurse is 10 years older than me. Mejo strict ako kanina. She asked, if educator daw ako, or CI, kasi mejo strict ako. Sabi ko hindi. Tapos, sabi niya baka daw nag mamasteral ako. Sabi ko naman, oo. So, I tried to teach lang kanina. And I tried to correct her if may mali siya.

What I liked about her, nagtatanong siya if tama ginagawa niya, and magaling siya magsalita na mapapalagay loob mo sakanya. Kaso, nakita niya kanina na pinagalitan ko yung nursing assistant, after quite some time, pinagsabihan niya ako… na mejo off daw ginawa ko sa nursing assistant with the way I talked.

Ang sabi ko, minsan lang ako magsalita, so ang dating mukha akong galit. Pero, nagtatanong lang naman ako. I just needed clarity about a certain issue sa triage at ER.

I appreciated what she said kahapon sakin. Hindi ako perpekto. I learn also from other people, especially the students and mentees. I learned from her. Sinabihan niya ako, ganun din daw siya noon.. pero she changed it.

Kapag daw naiinis siya or galit, she tries to count 1 to 5 and then saka siya nagsasalita. Then, hindi na siya masyadong galit pakinggan. So, I guess, gagawin ko rin yun. Kasi daw pag hindi ko yun binago, lalayuan daw ako ng mga tao. haha. She has a point. Kaya mejo loner ako. haha. lol.

Thank you God, kasi hindi lang ako natututo sa libro kundi sa mga tao na nakakasalamuha ko.

So, after this.. I will try to sleep na. Duty pa ako mamayang morning. Good night.

The Value of Money

I always hear grannies tell this to their younglings, you will only value something once it’s lost.

But, would you wait until you lose it for you to value it?

So, what happened to me, I received my cash income last Friday worth 11,000 pesos.

I rewarded myself to eat a carrot cake and a cup of coffee at The Coffee Bean along Lacson, last Friday. I don’t regularly drink coffee that’s why it’s a reward for me.

Then, I also ate a mymix and a dear darla solo from Yellowcab.

Then, I went home.

During the weekend, I ordered from Food Panda, a Lola Nena’s classic donuts, and a Cafe latte at Bo’s Coffee.

I also cooked some food at home from the groceries I bought last month. Thank God I still have stocks.

Until recently, I only have 9,700 pesos left.

After my gloomy code blue duty today, I decided to go to BPI to deposit my remaining 9,000 pesos.

However, I am such a fool that I didn’t even counter checked if the numbers I typed were my account number digits.

Until, I pressed deposit.

After quite some time, I realized that no money was deposited in my account. Maybe I foolishly typed wrongly.

It’s the first time I lost a huge amount of money amounting to 9,000 pesos. I only have 700 pesos left in my purse and I will budget it until my next cash income on the 30th of May.

Can I make it? Can I survive with 700 pesos until next sweldo? Hmm.

So, that means… I’ll be cooking my food and I’ll not buy outside.

That means, I’ll refrain from ordering from restaurants.

That means, I’ll refrain from using a food panda delivery service.

That means, I’ll refrain from going to the mall.

Please don’t tell my mama. I’m deads. hahaha.

As much as possible, I don’t want to ask money from my parents for my bills for food, wifi, electricity, and tuition.

I want to prove to myself that I can survive on my own. I need to learn how to fend for myself, and how to take care of myself.

I told my sister what happened to me awhile ago. She was the first one to know, and my papa.

Moral of the story: “Mahirap pala mawalan ng pera na pinaghirapan.” It’s difficult to lose money once you have earned it yourself with your own blood, sweat and tears. This incident reminds me to be more responsible in handling money, to be more wise with how I allocate my money. It taught me as well that I should learn how to cook my food and not to buy outside.

Hello adulting! Budget. Budget. Cook. Cook. Hehe.

I will try to make a complaint on Wednesday at BPI, if I can retrieve the money I lost.

Can dreams be really stolen?

Have you ever had a dream? or an idea?

Then, someone infiltrated your space and took it from you?

If it was stolen, was it really meant for you?

Before I became a Christian in high school,

I am so selfish of my ideas, my strategies, and my plans;

I keep it to my self, because I don’t want to be defeated.

I wanted to be Top 1.

I want to work on the goal that I have, and I focused really well.

I studied well. I am quite good with individual sports too.

Although I tried team sports, but I am not a good team player;

Also, I never even joined a cheer dance competition when I was young.

However, I am more inept with solos.

Moving on, if that dream was stolen, was it really God given?

Can dreams be really stolen?

I remembered a man in the Book of Matthew, when he discovered a treasure hidden in a field; in his excitement he hid it again and sold everything he owned to buy the field. It was the parable of the hidden treasure, which was described like the kingdom of Heaven. (See Matthew 13:44)

If I will try to consolidate, dreams like ideas: tangible or not are very essential to a person who had it, but sometimes, they can be taken away too, because we are not yet in paradise. We are on earth, people make mistakes, even Christians who claim to have Christ in them. It doesn’t exempt anyone.

However, dreams are still dreams, like visions and prophecies.

Can time that had been stolen, be given back?

Do dreams that had been thwarted from the start be redeemed?


Today is a very teleserye like day in the emergency room.

After I admitted a pregnant woman in the delivery room, there came a female patient aged 73 years old, who immediately fainted after reproving two youngters who were having a fight. This sudden fainting is what we call syncope in medical term.

So what happened awhile ago, this lola was carried by her grand daughters and some guys in the emergency room.

As for the hospital’s protocol, only the patients who had undergone antigen swab test which tested negative are the only ones who can enter the emergency room. Initially, they must be handled first and seen in the triage if the patients and the relatives have no RTPCR or antigen test.

So, our security guard awhile ago, got panicky when the grand daughters were crying outside the ER, crying out to help their lola.

The security guard informed me immediately. However, he left his post to go to the triage to get a wheel chair. So, the relatives entered the emergency room without swab tests.

I was in a state of shock, not because of the person who fainted, but because of the persons who entered the ER.

Then, this grand daughter was calling my attention to help their lola. “Nurse ka, bakit wala kang ginagawa??!”

I told them, “Maam, sandali.”

I told them that they are not allowed to enter the ER but they infiltrated the door, because the guard left his post.

The Nurse Assistant Maam Michiku took the lola’s vital signs, and did her initial assessment. Then, I informed the resident on duty that the patient still had no swab and was taken inside the ER. So, the entire emergency room now was exposed. I was reprimanded by our resident. And in turn, I reprimanded as well the security guard not to leave his post. Since, it will take four hours to disinfect the ER via UV light, and there are also other patients that we need to cater.

I took the Capillary Blood Glucose of the patient. I took also the ECG. So, the result had inverted “t waves”

The orders of the resident were as follows:

Take antigen test, then…

  1. CBG,
  2. ECG,
  3. X Ray,
  4. Na (135 to 145 meq/L)
  5. K (3.5 to 5 meq/L)
  6. Creatinine (60 to 110 umol/L [Female] & 70 to 120 umol/l [Male])
  7. Troponin ( 0.00 to 0.04 ng/ml)

The result of the antigen test was negative,

CBG was 107 mg/dl,

ECG had inverted “t waves”,

X ray had slight prominent densities,

Na and Potassium were sent out from the hospital because the laboratory had no machine for it. The result after two hours of waiting was with in normal range.

Then, Creatinine was also within normal range, and troponin qualitatively was negative.

I’ve learned today that Troponin can be taken qualitatively and quantitatively. However, the hospital only has qualitative result only for Troponin.

Troponin is an enzyme or protein that is used for the evaluation of heart injury.

Moving on, the patient woke up and she had a GCS of 15, responsive, coherent and conscious. Thank God.

So, the funny part of this day was the security guard made his amends to me by giving me four green carabao mangoes before the duty ended. Para daw bati na kami. Hahaha!

I gave one mango to Sir Chrysan who was having his last day of duty for tonight, then another mango to Maam Anjo, the midwife at the triage. So I was left with two green mangoes.

I thank the guard and I told him not to leave his post anymore. I told him that it’s okay to go to the triage but it should not be wrong timing. Hehe.

So, I had a wonderful duty today. My resident doctor gave me a dinner meal of milkfish and rice. Also, another blessing awhile ago was our lunch from McDonald’s donated by a kind soul who did not tell his identity.

Thank you Lord for the sustainance. 🙂

Discipleship 2021

Yesterday was Labor day. The conference for Victory Christian Fellowship Discipleship 2021 was held online.

I listened to the entire event.

It was beautiful, the worship, the talks, the entire conference.

How difficult it is to be a salt and light to our place of influence, because chances are we may irritate a wound if there’s an open wound in that area because we are the salt.

“There are times that maybe we irritate those people because of self righteousness and the wrong narrative of the gospel we give them, rooted in religiosity. However, we may irritate them as well in a good manner because the gospel speaks the truth to them, which can lead to eventual healing of their wounds”, Ate Nikki said.

I’m so touched with the prayer part for the next generation. I cried while praying. But, I know that our faith is not merely dependent on feelings. God is real even though we can’t see Him tangibly.

Have you ever felt this burden?

What happens when we are already dead and gone?

What happens to the next generation?

Will they be able to pass it on?

Life is too short wasting our time to be at war with ourselves and our personal issues; adding up to that as well our present hard times being experienced, including this pandemic. Life is so hard but I believe it is still beautiful.

Discipleship is a difficult task, but I am really praying to be able to lead others to Christ as well in spite of my weaknesses.

No one’s perfect. I’m not perfect but I believe that God created me fearfully and wonderfully. I am loved by God. So, I need to radiate this love to others too by God’s grace. Nothing is too hard to the Lord. I just know that somehow I can make a difference too.

Manila Theological College – COM

Last night, my friend Run, my classmate back in San Beda Med messaged me. She told me that she found a Medical school along Sta. Mesa. This Medical school is Manila Theological College – College of Medicine. What she liked about the school is that they offer 54,000 pesos only for the tuition every semester for first year, and they have scholarships too.

Isn’t it nice?

I told my mama about it too.

Well, that’s just some of my thoughts. Still praying though about it. Maybe, I’ll just finish my Masteral first in Nursing. Then, probably I’ll take NMAT again before the year ends, and possibly apply for medical school once I finish my MSN next year.

Hmm, a part of me, does not want to go abroad anymore. hmmm.

A part of me wants already to have a family of my own too, but my monthly earnings is not enough to sustain a family with children. So, I was thinking of going back to Medschool. Thankfully, I still don’t have a boyfriend yet. Haha! Don’t fret self. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. Maybe, God is still preparing him for you and you are still being prepared too. Inhale. Exhale. You can do it.

My friend will start her Med school this year hopefully. She told me that she would like to be classmates with me if possible. But, I’m still not done with my MSN. I would like to finish it first.

However, I still don’t know.. I’m always changing, growing and learning. I’m so unpredictable. My plans might change again.

Naramdaman niyo na ba to?

Hindi ko alam, kung bakit nararamdaman ko to ngayon.

Dala siguro ng kape, pero hindi naman ako lagi umiinom ng kape.

Pero recently lagi akong kinakabahan.

Ano ba tong nararamdaman ko.

Wala namang humahabol sakin na aso.

Wala naman humahabol sakin na tao.

Pero abot abot ang kaba na nararamdaman ko.

Naramdaman niyo na ba to, guys? ladies?

Ayoko naman umasa,

Pag-ibig na kaya tong nararamdaman ko?

Inlab ba ako?

Lord, ito na ba to?

Sobrang tagal ko na kasi huling naranasan yung ganito. Or nalimutan ko na siguro.

Wala naman akong sakit sa puso.

Minsan naiisip ko baka dahil sa kape lang.

Grabe, minsan lang talaga ako magkape, pero yung epekto sakin!

Wala naman nanliligaw sakin sa personal eh. So asa pa ako, diba? Haha.

Pero, yung feeling na to: masayang kaba.

Kung naiintindihan niyo yung gusto kong ipahiwatig.

Sana nagegets niyo ako.

Dear heart of mine, dahan dahan lang ang tibok. Ok?

I-enjoy lang muna natin yung proseso.

Minsan lang dumating yung ganitong feeling.

Are you inlab, Jea? Naks!

Who is the lucky mystery guy?

Baka paasahin ka lang. Haha!

So medyo guard tayo ng onti sa nararamdaman,

baka malinlang ka lang ng kape.

Gwapo ba siya?

Selosa ka ba? I saw a video on tiktok, the video says magkagusto ka na lang sa gwapo, kasi yung pangit sasaktan ka lang din naman. So piliin mo na lang yung gwapo, kasi parehas ka lang nilang sasaktan. Atleast gwapo. Haha! I laughed.

Kapag gwapo yung napili mo, marami din ang magkakagusto. Baka kahit na kasal na kayo, marami pa rin magkakagusto sakanya. Gusto mo yun? Haha. Kanya kanyang struggles in life talaga tayo, beshies.

Atleast, may jowa ka diba? Gwapo pa, at magiging gwapo rin mga anak niyo. Hehe. At since smart ka rin naman, magiging brainy din kids nio. Rooting for you. Kaya mo yan! Tiwala lang, friend. 🙂

Unfailing Love

My brother woke me up early this morning with a box filled with his personal computer parts on his way to Mindoro. Before he left, he hugged me. Aww. I hugged him back. I’m going to miss him. Solo na naman ako. I feel sad but I know I can do this.

So, what happened today… I’ve read my devotional. Then afterwards, I fell asleep.

I woke up again, I ate my corn kernels from a can and heard for Sunday service online. Then, I went to the self service laundry to wash my clothes. After that, I bought palitaw and an avocado shake.

Upon reaching home, I ironed my uniform for tomorrow. Then, I took a shower and I watched youtube. I’ve read a book on Captivating afterwards. The book is about unveiling the mystery of a woman’s soul. So intriguing.

Then, I listened to some songs. After that, ate a slice of chocolate cake then I cooked my dinner (rice, sardines with tomatoes). Then, I washed my dishes, and drank my E.Excel capsules and my medicine.

Then, I finished filling up some documents that I need to submit at work. Though, I still lack the SSS file. I am also thankful that I have wrote down finally my script on our webinar for next Saturday’s event because I will be the Moderator or the Master of Ceremony. It’s been a long time since I’ve been an MC, so I am very fortunate to be the MC for our webinar in graduate school. Exciting!

So, what I learned today. God is telling me comfortingly with this verse,

“Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord” Psalms 32:10

This verse reassures me, because I tend to sometimes lose my patience over things and about when will my prayers be answered. However, this is His promise: unfailing love will surround me as long as I trust with the God who created the universe.

I should be happy instead that I am not experiencing those problems that other people are experiencing unfortunately especially those who are married and those who have kids already. I should give thanks all the time that I am spared from those challenges yet.

I still thank God for the life He gave me.

Good night. May we have a good night sleep. Duty again tomorrow.

God bless my readers.