Anghel

Biyernes ngayon.

Wala akong pasok. Nasa bahay lang. Medyo makulimlim ang panahon.

Kumain ako ng niluto kong corned beef na may patatas at rice kanina.

Narealize ko lately, hindi pala maganda yung nagsasabi agad ng “I miss you” sa taong hindi mo pa lubos na kilala, or hindi mo pa talaga nakikilala sa personal.

Kasi, kagabi.. may guy na nag miss call. Nagchat sakin, katrabaho ko. Nag sabi siya ng miss niya na daw ako.

Hindi ako natuwa. Creepy. Hindi ko gusto ko yun out of nowhere.. biglang nagsasabi ng ganun.

Now I know… ganun din siguro naramdaman ni “Dr. Stranger” nung sinabi ko yung miss ko na siya.

Minsan…

Naisip ko.

Wala naman akong karapatan mag selos. Kasi, una sa lahat.. hindi naman kami.

Pangalawa.. Hindi kami close. haha!

Pangatlo.. Isa siyang anghel.

Do you know anything about angels? They protect you. They guide you. But, hindi mo sila mahahawakan. Or I don’t know. Siguro pwede, pero they may show themselves one time, and may never come back again.

Okay.. Alis na muna ako.. Mag huhugas pa ako ng pinggan.

Maselang Bahaghari

Noong bata pa ako, may istorya ang mga matatanda na sa dulo daw ng bahaghari, may makikitang garapon o lalagyan na mas malaki pa sa garapon na may mga ginto at pilak. Ibig sabihin, merong kayamanan na nakatago sa dulo ng bahaghari na ito.

Ngunit, bawat tingin ko dito, pilit ko man habulin ang dulo ay parang walang hangganan.

Napagtanto ko, salamat sa mga guro ko noon, na ang bahaghari ay lumalabas lamang pagkatapos ng ulan. Nagsisilbing pag-asa dahil sa pitong kulay na makikita natin kapag lumabas ang tunay na bahaghari.

Narinig ko siyang umawit sa Instagram, Isang mangangawit na Cebuana. Kinanta niya yung “Rainbow” Yung lyrics, there’s a rainbow always after the rain… Everything will be alright. Ramdam ko siya. Bagamat hindi ko siya kilala.. Alam kong may mga pinagdadaanan itong dalaga na ito, tulad ko, at tulad ni doctora, na itatago ko sa pangalang “Rebecca”.

Minsan, naisip ko.. pinaglalaruan ba ako ng tadhana?

Nakakatuwang isipin na bawat tao na nilikha ng Diyos ay may rason kung bakit nabubuhay, at kung bakit mo sila nakilala.

Isang araw, mga ilang taon na ang nakakaraan, meron akong nakilalang Duktor na taga Sorsogon. Isa siyang aspiring Medical Director ng Provincial Hospital nila. Nabanggit niya sakin, na minsan paulit ulit ang mga challenges na mararanasan natin. Halimbawa, hindi mo nagawang masolusyunan yung suliranin na yun sa umpisa, dadating ulit yun same scenario, pero maaring sa ibang tao na.

Alam niyo ba, hindi ko talaga gusto ang magsulat. Pero ginagawa ko to, kasi may pagka masokista ako. Alam niyo ba na sa bawat alpabeto na sinusulat ko, nararamdaman ko yung pait at sakit. Ibang klaseng sakit. Pero, pasalamat ako sa Diyos, dahil nagagawa ko na siyang ikwento, at mailabas sa aking sistema.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nasasaktan…

Nasasaktan ako… Kasi, tao ako. May damdamin, may puso, may kaluluwa.

Pero alam ko na bawat challenges na dumating sa buhay ko, may solusyon. May sagot. May dahilan, hindi ko man alam kung ano ito at para saan. Alam kong sa bawat araw na lumipas, kahit hindi ko siya nakikita, ramdam ko na mahal niya ako. Si God.

Miyerkules pala ngayon. Night duty ako ngayon sa Emergency Room ng St. Jude Hospital. Kanina, nag insert ng bagong line yung residente namin na si Doc Mike sa isang pediatric patient na may Asperger’s syndrome. Pagkatapos nun, inakyat na namin si patient sa room 311.

Tapos, nagpatulong si Maam Neri na mag insert ako ng line sa kaliwang kamay ng pasyente sa 316 B, dahil may infiltration na sa kanang kamay. Ang intervention ay warm compress.

Matapos ang ilang sandali, nagtext si Doc Higoy, may parating daw na possible Normal Spontaneous Delivery (NSD), pero kanina pa ako naghihintay. Hindi pa dumadating. Nakapagpalit na ako ng linens sa tatlong higaan na meron dito sa ER na kulay bayolet.

Gusto ko sanang matulog, para makapag ipon ng lakas… pero hindi ko magawa, kaya nagsusulat ako ngayon. Tumutugtog yung Bedtime Lullabies sa youtube ngayon, habang nagsusulat ako.

Maya maya, gagawin ko na yung tally at census ng ER para sa buwan ng Hulyo.

Nang biglang dumating si Sir Jonathan, nurse manager namin. Maaga siya dumating para sa morning shift.

Tinanong ko kung umuulan pa rin.

Sabi niya, walang tigil ang ulan, dahil may bagyo.. hindi niya lang alam kung anong pangalan.

Ako rin, hindi ako updated sa weather forecast, kasi wala akong TV sa bahay. I mean meron. Pero hindi ko naman binubuksan para manood, kasi wala akong cable. Hehe. Wala sa budget ko ang para sa TV.

Kasama ko mag duty ngayon sa ER, si Johanie, isang Muslim sa triage, pero hindi pa siya pumapasa sa board exam.

Ako lang ang nag-iisang nurse sa ER. Kaharap ko yung computer, yung telepono, yung printer, at mga mga forms, may calculator din at alcohol at cottons.

Sige, Magandang umaga. 🙂

How to use COMEN ECG Machine

Guys, sobrang tagal ko na as ER nurse dito sa hospital where I work.. Pero ngayon ko lang lubusan na naintindihan paano gamitin ang COMEN ECG. Dahil minsan sa madalas, mali yung settings. Hehe. Thanks to Biomed technician na pumunta kanina na si Sir Kem.

Okay, First, sa settings:

AC Filter60 Hz
EMG Filter (Electromyogram)35 Hz
DFT Filter (Drift)0.50 Hz
Lowpass Filter100 Hz
Display Format3×4
Sample ModeReal time
Sample OrderSimultaneous
ECG CriteriaIEC
Rhythm Lead 1II
Rhythm Lead 2II
Rhythm Lead 3II
Rhythm Lead Type1 Channel
ECG COMEN H3

So, yun.. Tapos, malalaman mo rin sa screen kung tama yung ECG placements ng leads, base sa image na nakalagay sa uppermost right ng screen. Kapag red siya meaning mali ang placements. Kapag green, correct ang placements. Oha! Oha! Ang IEC pala ay European standard, kapag AHA naman ay American standard.

Ang doctors daw nag babase sa lead II sa pinaka baba ng ECG strip pag nag babasa.

Tapos dapat naka auto print, hindi manual.. dahil uubusin niya ang papel mo sa ECG strip pag manual. Oki!

You are never too young or too old for success…

“No matter how old you are now. You are never too young or too old for success or going after what you want. “

Here’s a short list of people who accomplished great things at different ages.


1) Helen Keller, at the age of 19 months, became deaf and blind. But that didn’t stop her. She was the first deaf and blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.
2) Mozart was already competent on keyboard and violin; he composed from the age of 5.
3) Shirley Temple was 6 when she became a movie star on “Bright Eyes.”
4) Anne Frank was 12 when she wrote the diary of Anne Frank.
5) Magnus Carlsen became a chess Grandmaster at the age of 13.
6) Nadia Comăneci was a gymnast from Romania that scored seven perfect 10.0 and won three gold medals at the Olympics at age 14.
7) Tenzin Gyatso was formally recognized as the 14th Dalai Lama in November 1950, at the age of 15.
8) Pele, a soccer superstar, was 17 years old when he won the world cup in 1958 with Brazil.
9) Elvis was a superstar by age 19.
10) John Lennon was 20 years and Paul Mcartney was 18 when the Beatles had their first concert in 1961.
11) Jesse Owens was 22 when he won 4 gold medals in Berlin 1936.
12) Beethoven was a piano virtuoso by age 23
13) Isaac Newton wrote Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica at age 24
14) Roger Bannister was 25 when he broke the 4 minute mile record
15) Albert Einstein was 26 when he wrote the theory of relativity
16) Lance E. Armstrong was 27 when he won the tour de France
17) Michelangelo created two of the greatest sculptures “David” and “Pieta” by age 28
18) Alexander the Great, by age 29, had created one of the largest empires of the ancient world
19) J.K. Rowling was 30 years old when she finished the first manuscript of Harry Potter
20) Amelia Earhart was 31 years old when she became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean
21) Oprah was 32 when she started her talk show, which has become the highest-rated program of its kind
22) Edmund Hillary was 33 when he became the first man to reach Mount Everest
23) Martin Luther King Jr. was 34 when he wrote the speech “I Have a Dream.”
24) Marie Curie was 35 years old when she got nominated for a Nobel Prize in Physics
25) The Wright brothers, Orville (32) and Wilbur (36) invented and built the world’s first successful airplane and making the first controlled, powered and sustained heavier-than-air human flight
26) Vincent Van Gogh was 37 when he died virtually unknown, yet his paintings today are worth millions.
27) Neil Armstrong was 38 when he became the first man to set foot on the moon.
28) Mark Twain was 40 when he wrote “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”, and 49 years old when he wrote “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”
29) Christopher Columbus was 41 when he discovered the Americas
30) Rosa Parks was 42 when she refused to obey the bus driver’s order to give up her seat to make room for a white passenger
31) John F. Kennedy was 43 years old when he became President of the United States
32) Henry Ford Was 45 when the Ford T came out.
33) Suzanne Collins was 46 when she wrote “The Hunger Games”
34) Charles Darwin was 50 years old when his book On the Origin of Species came out.
35) Leonardo Da Vinci was 51 years old when he painted the Mona Lisa.
36) Abraham Lincoln was 52 when he became president.
37) Ray Kroc Was 53 when he bought the McDonalds Franchise and took it to unprecedented levels.
38) Dr. Seuss was 54 when he wrote “The Cat in the Hat”.
40) Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger III was 57 years old when he successfully ditched US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River in 2009. All of the 155 passengers aboard the aircraft survived
41) Colonel Harland Sanders was 61 when he started the KFC Franchise
42) J.R.R Tolkien was 62 when the Lord of the Ring books came out
43) Ronald Reagan was 69 when he became President of the US
44) Jack Lalane at age 70 handcuffed, shackled, towed 70 rowboats
45) Nelson Mandela was 76 when he became President”


― Pablo

A praying friend

The other day, I’ll share to you what I saw and heard from facebook stories.

My friend whom I met at Victory Fort Singles Fellowship was praying and she was crying. Her face was not seen, it was just a recorded voice with subtitles and with a photo of a dove. She said that she was led by the spirit to pray, and it was so heartfelt that she was crying all through out the prayer.

At first, I wondered why she was crying. It somehow struck me after I did something terrible in one of my singing apps. I deleted most of my songs, duets from 2020. I had this bubble in my brain that says, “Okay lang siguro yun, kasi wala namang nakikinig, and songs lang naman yun. It means nothing.” On the day I deleted the songs, I was supposedly on duty, but I was absent.

When I deleted them, I felt nothing.

I told my siblings what I did. I told my mama what I did. She asked me why I deleted them. I don’t know what to reply.

Then I heard this friend pray. Her name is Marie Kimberly Naparota. What I remembered from her prayer, is that she prayed for Christians to be united and not be complacent and to be bold in sharing Jesus to other people. She prayed for her city too.

I would like to cry with her, but a tear did not fall on my cheeks after her prayer. However, hours later I started feeling dry, clueless and guilty and I cried too. I felt like this terrible thing that I did is really terrible. This is one of my struggles as a Christian, to be consistent in my prayer life. I wish the holy spirit will move me to tears while praying for the people I love and care for and for my friends, and even enemies, and most specially for my country.

I love to have a praying friend.

So, God’s verse from Youversion for today is:

Revelation 21:4

4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

ESV

Praying with tears is something that other people who are spiritually led may joyfully experience. But, I believe that praying even without tears may also be done, because our faith is not merely based on emotions and feelings and even situations and circumstances. We test our faith. We just simply talk with a supreme being, praise the creator of heaven and earth, ask for forgiveness of our sins, give thanks to The One who bestows blessings, and possibly say our supplications and requests too.

God Tools

I have a friend that I met at Heartbeat MD last 2018. Her name is Hope Lanika Bautista. She shared to me the 4SL from God Tools, and which then I downloaded.

A while ago, after our 12 hour night duty. I had a co worker in the Emergency Room, Triage. Her name is Sarah Noynay. She is a nursing assistant. She studied care giving. I shared to her the 4SL Tagalog version from God Tools, just after we ate breakfast from a carinderia somewhere in Dapitan street.

She prayed the prayer of acceptance of Jesus Christ. I am thankful to God for giving me the courage to talk to her the 4SL. It’s terrifying at first yet satisfying eventually, that God is so great. I feel honored that He chose me to be His own and I got to share His love to those around me too.

Thank You Lord.

I got a chance to share too the 4SL with Sir Alking Turla and Sir Danilo Sitoy, our security guards for this night. Thank You God. Amen.

Memo: Recharge

As an introvert, you can notice me quite aloof to people. I don’t feel comfortable with a lot of people interactions, unlike when I was a little younger. I just changed.

If you see me performing dance or sing songs, it’s my way of releasing tension from my body and expressing my feelings. But then again, I’m still learning how to interact with people.

I’ve been hurt a countless times already, that’s why I’ve been guarding my heart for the longest time. If I interact with people, it drains the energy out of me. So, I needed time to recharge and give love to myself by quiet times and doing the things that I love with my artistic side. Though, I’m not claiming to be that good artist. I just try to do art, like sing, dance, write, and paint.

On a side note, sometimes, I wonder if am I really for nursing.

Ilang beses na akong umiyak dahil sa Nursing. Haha! Various emotions and feelings.


I have a cloud in my mind that says, ” Sa gusto ko laging mag short cut, mas napapatagal pa tuloy yung maacomplish yung gusto kong gawin. Sobrang masunurin ko, to the fact na paano naman yung gusto kong gawin? Like can I even decide on my own na gawin ko naman yung gusto ko, without the influence of those around me?”

For the longest time, I just want to do things that I want.

What do you want, Jaea? Recharge! 🙂

Peace in Christ

The peace of God is something that not only surpasses all understanding but exceeds our natural ways. This peace exceeds the natural and causes us to remain calm regardless of our circumstances. It guards the heart. We do not lose our minds, and our hearts beat as it should.

The peace of God orients us and keeps us focused on Christ. The result is peace in the midst of adversity. Problems may continue, and there may not be an exact day or time for how long our situation will be, but our life does not depend on knowing when the difficulties we are going through will end. Our life depends on God. Having the peace of God allows us to stay calm and safe in the midst of trouble.

It does not mean that as Christians, we will not experience hardships anymore, and problems will no longer be part of our lives. The apostle Paul does not teach a gospel as a good luck charm, where everything will be perfect. Those who are with Christ can go through the same struggles as any other person but the difference is Christ, who is the peace of God, produces the effect of life in the spirit. A different reality which surpasses all understanding.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

#DoNotWorry

My Mentors in Nursing

As you all know, I haven’t had any work experience in Nursing since I graduated in 2011. I just started to work as an employee way back in 2016, meaning I have 5 years gap after I graduated. Mahirap mag-work ng may gap na ganun katagal.

I started my nursing journey at the New Oriental Mindoro Provincial Hospital as an Emergency Room Nurse and OPD Nurse. My mentor that I won’t forget is Sir Jericho or Jex as what others call him. He is really good in intubation and IV insertions, and he is good in dealing with surgery trauma/ ortho cases.

Then in ManilaMed, I can’t remember who my preceptor was and who I shadowed in 7th Extension and 9th Extension. I just remembered my managers that time, Sir Ken and Maam Phen. The nurses who trained us for the Athena program was Maam Kate and Sir Junmar.

In PGH -NICU, the person who trained me in NICU was Maam Magee. She is knowledgeable with newborn care. She taught me how to feed them and how to give their medications.

In St. Luke’s, my preceptor in 3 West Pedia was Maam Anna. who taught me to close the door gently; in 6th Main A – Pulmo Unit was Sir Luigi, who taught me that we have different styles in carrying out the skills, just don’t forget the basic principles in nursing; my mentor in JD-ICU was Maam Sarah; who taught me to be kind to nursing assistants and we can learn a lot from them too; and my PCS manager was Maam Jane, she taught me how trust is important. I stayed in St. Luke’s for 1 year and six months.

While at present in St. Jude, my mentors in Emergency room were: Sir Jonathan, Sir Kriz, Maam Ariane, Sir Gabriel, and Maam Hanna, while my manager is Sir Celsie.

I’ve learned from all of my mentors. Each with different good qualities and skills, and various personalities. They were all great mentors.


If you’ll ask me, bakit hindi ako nagtagal sa mga previous ko na institutions, I have commitment issues. Haha!

But there is a deeper reason why.

Don’t worry, I have no plans in resigning yet at St. Jude. Haha. I still need to rise up to the challenge.

If it’s God’s will, praying to stay at St. Jude for as long as God wants me to stay. Please pray for me. 🙂

Attitude

Dear Readers,

Did you know, I just realized lately.. how important food is, maliban sa need siya for survival.

Parang Fight or Flight lang.

Kapag naka fight mode ka with your Autonomic Nervous System, iisipin mo pa ba kumain?

I realized, kapag hindi ka kumain, mas madalas yung chances na parati kang magagalit.

Kaya importante to, “Kumain ka na ba?” hahaha.

Paulit -ulit kong naririnig to, kapag galit ka, “Magbilang ka muna ng 1-10, 1-5 or 1-3, saka ka magsalita”.

I’ve learned that phrase from Maam Christine and Maam Liwelyn, both are managers.

Tapos, hindi ka na masyadong galit pakinggan.

One more thing, your self identity is very important.

No one can refute what you say about yourself, because that’s your identity.

Knowledge. Skills. Attitude. Which is the most important?

Some people say, hire people with the attitude, because knowledge and skills can be taught.

Pero yung attitude, mababago ba?


Self introspection:

Alam niyo, hindi naman ako masamang tao. Pero I realized lately, hindi ganun kahaba ang patience ko. Tahimik ako, pero mabilis ako magalit. Dati hindi naman ako ganito. I just changed. Although, I still read the bible. I sometimes pray. It’s a daily struggle for me, to pray consistently. I’m a Christian, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t get angry anymore.

Mas grabe ako magalit after I became a Christian. I just don’t want injustice.