What are dreams made of?

I’m already 30 by now.

Time went by so fast, since I graduated college in year 2011. I didn’t even notice.

When I was young, I’ve been an obedient child. I pleased my parents by studying hard and well. I’ve been doing what others tell me to do for quite some time.

I graduated and passed the nursing licensure exam.

I’ve been fearing failure that’s why I always give my best not to fail.

But, do we attract what we fear? Since, I’ve had a taste of it in Med school and in my MHA.

Time is so precious.

Don’t be like me who wasted a lot of time by not forgiving my mistakes done in the past.

Sometimes, when we feel anger.. we put punishment on ourselves that we can’t project to other people. That’s the reason why other people get sick. Hehe. Unforgiveness and resentment and freedom withheld to enemies.

So, choose to forgive. It sets every crooked lines straight.

I remembered my sister, she told me that she doesn’t like being told what to do. I think we all have experienced this. We don’t like other people telling us how to lead our lives, because we think that we can take the stirring wheel of our ship and navigate it to how and where it should go, that we are in control.

Moreover, I don’t think that I committed a grave sin in the past compared to others. I haven’t had any immoral relations. I did not kill anyone. I just fell obsessively in love many many years ago.

I tortured myself, punished myself by not taking care of myself physically, after being rejected. I grew big, you know. I don’t want to go back to that phase anymore, where I just lost control of myself.

Real love I think, won’t let you experience that. Or I don’t know. It’s horrifying. If I will justify the action, maybe it was a tough love, but then again, I was not used to getting rejections. That’s why.. I broke down into pieces metaphorically.

Although, I believe real love will bring out the best in you and will not put you in that afflictive situation.

Instead of keep on insisting what we want.. Let’s surrender our future to the will of God. I think of God as a heavenly being.. who created the wonderful universe that we live in, the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, the fishes, the plants and the animals and the people around us.

When I was growing up… I was always told to dream big.

But, dreams? What are dreams made of?