What are dreams made of?

I’m already 30 by now.

Time went by so fast, since I graduated college in year 2011. I didn’t even notice.

When I was young, I’ve been an obedient child. I pleased my parents by studying hard and well. I’ve been doing what others tell me to do for quite some time.

I graduated and passed the nursing licensure exam.

I’ve been fearing failure that’s why I always give my best not to fail.

But, do we attract what we fear? Since, I’ve had a taste of it in Med school and in my MHA.

Time is so precious.

Don’t be like me who wasted a lot of time by not forgiving my mistakes done in the past.

Sometimes, when we feel anger.. we put punishment on ourselves that we can’t project to other people. That’s the reason why other people get sick. Hehe. Unforgiveness and resentment and freedom withheld to enemies.

So, choose to forgive. It sets every crooked lines straight.

I remembered my sister, she told me that she doesn’t like being told what to do. I think we all have experienced this. We don’t like other people telling us how to lead our lives, because we think that we can take the stirring wheel of our ship and navigate it to how and where it should go, that we are in control.

Moreover, I don’t think that I committed a grave sin in the past compared to others. I haven’t had any immoral relations. I did not kill anyone. I just fell obsessively in love many many years ago.

I tortured myself, punished myself by not taking care of myself physically, after being rejected. I grew big, you know. I don’t want to go back to that phase anymore, where I just lost control of myself.

Real love I think, won’t let you experience that. Or I don’t know. It’s horrifying. If I will justify the action, maybe it was a tough love, but then again, I was not used to getting rejections. That’s why.. I broke down into pieces metaphorically.

Although, I believe real love will bring out the best in you and will not put you in that afflictive situation.

Instead of keep on insisting what we want.. Let’s surrender our future to the will of God. I think of God as a heavenly being.. who created the wonderful universe that we live in, the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, the fishes, the plants and the animals and the people around us.

When I was growing up… I was always told to dream big.

But, dreams? What are dreams made of?

Jaira May

Hi beautiful people! So, I’ll share to you Jaira May.

She said that today is her birthday. She is thirteen years old today.

She is a morena sweet girl. She often calls me in messenger whenever she likes. Although, there was this one time that I told her to just text me before calling, because I might be busy doing things that I need to do. I met her at New Beginning Community Church at Mandaluyong from many many years ago, when I was still studying for Medicine. She was from Sunday school of the Church.

Jaira means “He will light up” in Hebrew. It’s the feminine form of Jairus.


May is “the fifth month”. The month of May was named for Maia, the Roman earth goddess. Also a short form of the names Matthew and Mary.


She agreed for me to be her mentor yesterday, and to be my disciple. Thank You God.

I don’t really get how to do this discipleship thing. Is there a manual to use? How to put boundaries to maintain respect? How to take care of their soul as an accountability partner? Should I start including them in my prayers?

I’ve heard a lot of Christians telling other people to disciple. But how do they do it? I don’t know. I’m clueless.

I’ve just observed them having small groups online. Should I do the same?

I don’t know if she can understand my point of view, since she is so young, like we’re 17 years apart. At a very young age, she have undergone already so much difficulties, which is way harder than my present and past struggles. I have not been a mother before. I don’t know how to effectively do this. I just want the best for her. I want her to dream big and to finish her studies. I believe she has a bright future ahead of her. (praying)