By: Lily Ruha
February 22, 2021 from infobloom.com
The effects of too much attention, whether on relationships or life problems, are generally negative and counterproductive. Although healthy relationships require a certain degree of attention, one partner’s excessive focus on the other may create emotional imbalances in the relationship. Similarly, children who receive too much praise or too many gifts may develop personality issues. Attention is also a factor in mental illnesses like depression, neurosis, and anxiety, with an extreme focus on uncontrollable or inconsequential matters. Stalking and harassment are extreme behaviors characterized by too much attention given to people who do not want it.
In a healthy relationship, attentiveness is characterized by a set of moderate behaviors. Each partner listens to the other, showing interest in the thoughts, feelings, and passions of the other. It is a mutual relationship in which respect, love, and attention are shared in healthy amounts. Too much attention in a relationship of equals is characterized by extreme gift giving, excessive communication, and intense affection. A partner who is unable or unwilling to reciprocate may feel manipulated, smothered, or repulsed enough to exit the relationship altogether.
Giving too much attention to people who do not want it may be considered stalking or sexual harassment. Celebrities may become victims of this type of behavior when fans violate their privacy by following them around, camping outside their homes, or entering their living space without permission. In general, inappropriate remarks about someone’s physical appearance, unwanted affection, and sexual innuendo all may fall into the category of harassment.
Parents and teachers also are faced with determining how much attention is too much. Constantly praising a child, letting him know how smart he is, and tending to his every wish may prevent him from developing necessary life skills. Praise is best when limited to displays of courage or successful completion of challenging tasks. Constant gift giving is problematic for children because it does not teach them to work and wait for what they want. While it’s important to meet children’s needs, too much attention to their wants may perpetuate the constant demand for more.
Many mental illnesses also involve the problem of excessive attention. A depressed person may constantly focus on past disappointments. Individuals with intense anxiety may worriedly and repeatedly review the details of an upcoming event or encounter. People with neurosis, a condition characterized by repetitive thoughts and actions, may give too much attention to insignificant matters or tasks they have already completed. The effects of excessive attention in these conditions are personal discomfort and dissatisfaction.
There are those people like me, who have a tendency of misinterpreting too much attention given by those around me. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be in the spotlight sometimes, but that is during competitions only. I don’t normally enjoy too much attention from people. But, I’d love to be noticed sometimes. More often than not, I feel like I’m just in a bubble or invincible to those around me. I don’t normally attract attention from people. You can notice that in my social media posts. Although, I am quite an actress and a performer too. I am a frustrated theater artist.
Back in high school. I would love to join our high school plays, and portray roles in theater. But, I did not take the opportunity because I live far away from school, and the modes of transportation that time have curfews. To be in theater is one of my frustrations back when I was young. I do remember one time, I played the role of “Portia” from William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, but it was just on classroom for the English Subject Requirement.
Thankfully, it was compensated when I entered college. I joined “The Literary and Performing Arts Guild”, and “The Artiste Guild’s Teatro and Chorale”. I joined declamation and oration contests back then. It was fun.
To join a beauty pageant was one of my frustrations too. Although, I’ve joined one time a “Mutya ng Camp” when I was Grade 6 and won the title. I still feel regretful to not have not experienced one in highschool. One time in highschool, I was asked to join the pageant by some of my friends who are in the student council, but I was too young. I did not join. Maybe, I can answer the Q and A, but I was not that confident enough to wear a bikini. Because, I am not that sexy enough way back then. haha! I’m such a nerd.
Moving on, I am still grateful for the opportunities given to me in the past and even at present. I may not have everything that I want in life, but I’m grateful for all the experiences that I had.