Is it possible?

I have so many questions that needed answers…

Is it possible to love one person alone?

Is it possible to be faithful?

Is it possible?

What makes a person love someone sincerely and genuinely?

Have you found her?

Is there a reason you should pursue her?

If the answer is yes,

what’s the reason?

Do you love her?

If yes,

it’s okay.

You are free to love.

But, your freedom ends when it harms the person.

You say, you have feelings for her.

But, if you do have feelings for her,

Why would you refrain from pursuing?

Maybe, you are in doubt?

It might be because you are not sure enough.

Or, you have other girls in mind as potential mates.

Don’t worry, it’s okay.

It’s perfectly normal.

Just go on with your life full of possibilities.

Enjoy your God given blessings.

As what other people say,

In this game of life called love,

To which side do you belong?

Are you winning?

Or, Are you losing?

Love is the most beautiful thing that God created for us to experience.

Love with no regrets.

Love with no pretensions.

Love and give it all you have.

Love is not meant for cowards, but for courageous beings only.

Be brave. You can do it, love.

To All The Boys – Always and Forever

I just finished watching the third movie of Lara Jean Song Covey and Peter Kavinsky, To All the Boys – Always and Forever from the book of Jenny Han.

It was fun seeing their relationship flourish which all started with a love letter that was sent accidentally to Peter by Lara Jean’s sister Kitty. Peter was one of Lara Jean’s five crushes from many many years ago, and it’s funny that they became boyfriends eventually. Although, it began first as a fake relationship with a fake love contract.

Moreover, in this movie, Lara Jean had struggles of applying for college. She initially wanted to go to Stanford University because Peter was accepted there too, and they both want to go to the same college together. But then, Lara Jean was not accepted at Stanford.

A back up plan that she made was to go instead to Berkeley University for her English Literature Program, to compensate with the distance that Stanford and Berkeley has. In order that Lara Jean and Peter can meet half ways in San Francisco during weekends probably.

But then, when they had a school trip in New York.

Her former bestfriend Jen was accepted at New York University (NYU). So when Lara Jean and Chris saw Jen with a senior from NYU, Lara Jean together with Jen and Chris went to a party as invited by the senior. With Lara Jean’s stay at NY, she fell in love at first sight with the city. Also, NYU has the best English Lit program, and it would be best for her to study there.

When they came back, Lara Jean learned that she was accepted at NYU for college.

However, she had a dilemma of what school to choose, whether or not, Berkeley or NYU.

She wanted to go to Berkeley for Peter, but then, what her heart wanted was to go to NYU. However, it is 3000 miles away from Stanford.

Lara Jean felt that they might not survive a long distance relationship. She was scared, but that was what her heart wanted. She wanted to study at NYU.

As the story unfold, Lara Jean and Peter broke up after the prom because of a misunderstanding; and reunited again after the wedding of Lara Jean’s father with her step mom.

So, Peter made a letter in Lara Jean’s school yearbook and made it as their new contract. In that letter, he told Lara Jean that he wanted to be by her side, even if it means letting her study at NYU, despite the distance of 3000 miles. Fully supporting one another despite the long distance, which entails trust and faith in the person; and he doesn’t want to hold back Lara Jean from her dreams in life.

One opportunity that arise with that instance is the possibility of writing love letters which is sweet, as what Lara Jean said before the movie ended, which she liked.

I love the movie, it’s not that dragging. It’s sweet. It might be a cliché love story, but it happens in real life. Struggles of couples entering college with different schools, or couples having long distance relationships because of work.

Manila Theological College – COM

Last night, my friend Run, my classmate back in San Beda Med messaged me. She told me that she found a Medical school along Sta. Mesa. This Medical school is Manila Theological College – College of Medicine. What she liked about the school is that they offer 54,000 pesos only for the tuition every semester for first year, and they have scholarships too.

Isn’t it nice?

I told my mama about it too.

Well, that’s just some of my thoughts. Still praying though about it. Maybe, I’ll just finish my Masteral first in Nursing. Then, probably I’ll take NMAT again before the year ends, and possibly apply for medical school once I finish my MSN next year.

Hmm, a part of me, does not want to go abroad anymore. hmmm.

A part of me wants already to have a family of my own too, but my monthly earnings is not enough to sustain a family with children. So, I was thinking of going back to Medschool. Thankfully, I still don’t have a boyfriend yet. Haha! Don’t fret self. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. Maybe, God is still preparing him for you and you are still being prepared too. Inhale. Exhale. You can do it.

My friend will start her Med school this year hopefully. She told me that she would like to be classmates with me if possible. But, I’m still not done with my MSN. I would like to finish it first.

However, I still don’t know.. I’m always changing, growing and learning. I’m so unpredictable. My plans might change again.

Fear of numbers

Have you ever encountered a person with fear of numbers?

Numerophobia, also known as arithmophobia, is the fear of numbers. There are few different triggers for numerophobia. It is more commonly suffered by children, especially after beginning to take math classes in school. So they would try to avoid doing math at all costs.

I have a theory that maybe some people fear reading the bible too because of the numbers that they see.

When I was in highschool, I am often chosen to represent the school in Math competitions in Iriga City. I was always with Katrin Joy, my best friend. She is more inept with me in Math. Even if I don’t like Math and it makes me anxious even with just the thought of computing; I still studied hard for it. I allotted more time on it compared to my other subjects. That was my secret. I put more time on difficult subjects like Math compared with my other subjects, as far as I can remember.

Furthermore, I’d like to share that there was this one time, my mom gave me a gift. The gift she gave is a book entitled “Inspiration For Every Day” By Lizzie Cornwall of Summersdale Publishers from United Kingdom.

I love that book because of the author’s creativity, also the book has no page numbers. Hahaha! So, if you’d like to remember a page, you need to start from page 1, or simply rely on photographic memory. That is how the book will torture you. However, I am not tortured. I love every page. In every page, she will tell you how to be inspired. I love also how it was crafted and designed. I love the art inside. It’s beautifully compiled.

What Are the Effects of Too Much Attention?

By: Lily Ruha

February 22, 2021 from

The effects of too much attention, whether on relationships or life problems, are generally negative and counterproductive. Although healthy relationships require a certain degree of attention, one partner’s excessive focus on the other may create emotional imbalances in the relationship. Similarly, children who receive too much praise or too many gifts may develop personality issues. Attention is also a factor in mental illnesses like depression, neurosis, and anxiety, with an extreme focus on uncontrollable or inconsequential matters. Stalking and harassment are extreme behaviors characterized by too much attention given to people who do not want it.

In a healthy relationship, attentiveness is characterized by a set of moderate behaviors. Each partner listens to the other, showing interest in the thoughts, feelings, and passions of the other. It is a mutual relationship in which respect, love, and attention are shared in healthy amounts. Too much attention in a relationship of equals is characterized by extreme gift giving, excessive communication, and intense affection. A partner who is unable or unwilling to reciprocate may feel manipulated, smothered, or repulsed enough to exit the relationship altogether.

Giving too much attention to people who do not want it may be considered stalking or sexual harassment. Celebrities may become victims of this type of behavior when fans violate their privacy by following them around, camping outside their homes, or entering their living space without permission. In general, inappropriate remarks about someone’s physical appearance, unwanted affection, and sexual innuendo all may fall into the category of harassment.

Parents and teachers also are faced with determining how much attention is too much. Constantly praising a child, letting him know how smart he is, and tending to his every wish may prevent him from developing necessary life skills. Praise is best when limited to displays of courage or successful completion of challenging tasks. Constant gift giving is problematic for children because it does not teach them to work and wait for what they want. While it’s important to meet children’s needs, too much attention to their wants may perpetuate the constant demand for more.

Many mental illnesses also involve the problem of excessive attention. A depressed person may constantly focus on past disappointments. Individuals with intense anxiety may worriedly and repeatedly review the details of an upcoming event or encounter. People with neurosis, a condition characterized by repetitive thoughts and actions, may give too much attention to insignificant matters or tasks they have already completed. The effects of excessive attention in these conditions are personal discomfort and dissatisfaction.

My thoughts:

There are those people like me, who have a tendency of misinterpreting too much attention given by those around me. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be in the spotlight sometimes, but that is during competitions only. I don’t normally enjoy too much attention from people. But, I’d love to be noticed sometimes. More often than not, I feel like I’m just in a bubble or invincible to those around me. I don’t normally attract attention from people. You can notice that in my social media posts. Although, I am quite an actress and a performer too. I am a frustrated theater artist.

Back in high school. I would love to join our high school plays, and portray roles in theater. But, I did not take the opportunity because I live far away from school, and the modes of transportation that time have curfews. To be in theater is one of my frustrations back when I was young. I do remember one time, I played the role of “Portia” from William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, but it was just on classroom for the English Subject Requirement.

Thankfully, it was compensated when I entered college. I joined “The Literary and Performing Arts Guild”, and “The Artiste Guild’s Teatro and Chorale”. I joined declamation and oration contests back then. It was fun.

To join a beauty pageant was one of my frustrations too. Although, I’ve joined one time a “Mutya ng Camp” when I was Grade 6 and won the title. I still feel regretful to not have not experienced one in highschool. One time in highschool, I was asked to join the pageant by some of my friends who are in the student council, but I was too young. I did not join. Maybe, I can answer the Q and A, but I was not that confident enough to wear a bikini. Because, I am not that sexy enough way back then. haha! I’m such a nerd.

Moving on, I am still grateful for the opportunities given to me in the past and even at present. I may not have everything that I want in life, but I’m grateful for all the experiences that I had.

Myocardial Infarction

I was 6pm -6am duty on a Good Friday last night. I was an on-call nurse. It must supposedly be my day off, but they told me to have my duty.

I was really not feeling well emotionally, but I still went on duty, just to divert my attention from certain events beyond my control. I am the only Emergency Room nurse on duty, but I am with a Nursing Assistant assigned at the triage, Ma’am Johannie.

So, the night went good. I thought it was going to be a benign duty. But when 2AM came, a doctor called our phone, referring a patient who had a myocardial infarction a week ago from another hospital. I told the doctor that we don’t have a functional ICU and our isolation rooms are fully occupied. So, we would not be able to admit the patient.

The patient is 64 years old having chest pains and was treated initially in our triage.

The patient had 92% O2 saturation, BP of 90/50, HR of 88, RR 19, T 36.6.

The patient was asked to undergo antigen test for COvid, and was taken Troponin I too by the Med Tech, as ordered by the resident.

Troponin I levels

Normal range: below 0.04 ng/ml

Probable heart attack: above 0.40 ng/ml

Upon waiting, I took the ECG of the patient and the Respiratory Therapist placed an oxygen 2-3 L to the patient via nasal cannula, as ordered by our resident doctor.

The ordered medications to the patient are as follows:

  1. Omeprazole 40 mg via IV now
  2. Atorvastatin 80 mg/ 1 tab taken orally now
  3. Aspirin 80 mg tab 4 tabs now, which was masticated by the patient
  4. Clopidogrel 75 mg/tab 4 tabs now, which was masticated by the patient
  5. Isordil 5mg/ 1 tab now sublingually
  6. Morphine 2mg IV now

However, we don’t have stocks for Morphine. The patient was in pain. Somehow, it was relieved temporarily by the other medications.

After a few minutes, the result of the antigen test of the patient was positive for COVID.

Our resident doctor made a referral slip of the patient for transfer to hospital of choice.

After the relatives settled the payment, the patient was discharged for transfer to another hospital.

I still learned something new today. Maybe, I should just focus in my work and studies to divert my attention from my beautiful emotional petty concerns in life.

Still, thank You God.

1. Omeprazole – (Proton Pump Inhibitor) – works by decreasing the amount of acid your stomach makes. It relieves symptoms such as heartburn, difficulty swallowing, and persistent cough
2. Atorvastatin – (HMG CoA reductase inhibitors) – used together with diet to lower blood levels of “bad” cholesterol (low-density lipoprotein, or LDL), to increase levels of “good” cholesterol (high-density lipoprotein, or HDL), and to lower triglycerides (a type of fat in the blood).
3. Aspirin (Salicylate) –  It works by reducing substances in the body that cause painfever, and inflammation. It is used to treat pain, and reduce fever or inflammation. It is sometimes used to treat or prevent heart attacks, strokes, and chest pain (angina).
4. Clopidogrel – (P2Y12 inhibitors) – used to lower risk of having a stroke, blood clot, or serious heart problem after a heart attack, severe chest pain (angina), or circulation problems.
5. Isordil – (Nitrate) – A nitrate that dilates (widens) blood vessels, making it easier for blood to flow through them and easier for the heart to pump. Isosorbide mononitrate is used to prevent angina attacks (chest pain).
Isosorbide mononitrate will not treat an angina attack that has already begun.
6. Morphine – (Opiod/ Narcotic) – used to treat moderate to severe pain. Short-acting formulations are taken as needed for pain.