Build me up, Buttercup

So, today is October 18 in the year of our Lord 2020.

My last day of my vacation leave.

I just came from an overnight today from Pasig City. I slept last night at One Spatial Condo with Mer, Iya and Hannah at Amang Rodriguez St., Sitio Ligaya, Brgy. De La Paz, Pasig City. The place is just meters away from Marcos Highway, one of Pasig’s busiest thoroughfares. This condo is beside Ayala Malls Feliz also known as Feliz Town Center at Vermont building Room 306 with two bedrooms.

I had a tough and challenging day today, and I’ve learned something new about myself.

I seldom get angry for so long, but I just flared up awhile ago. I’m a control freak pala.

My friend and I had a misunderstanding. I was upset because I already paid for the overnight fee via BPI debit card plus my food and pajama fee. However, the budget exceeded and I needed to pay additional cash. I don’t feel good shedding another cash from my wallet, because it is difficult to find an Automated Teller Machine and to withdraw cash. Another thing is, I did not like what my friend told me about our excess food which was cooked yesterday to be thrown away.

I’ve acted weirdly because the cooked food is valuable to me, because part of the money that I shed for that was earned by me from the work that I have. You will really know the importance of money when it is already earned by you, rather than the feeling of getting it as an allowance or for free.

I also realized that I am not that good with budgeting too, because I am such a spender. Also, I got disappointed with my other person with us, because I felt like napipilitan lang siya maghugas ng kawali after I told her to wash it. So, instead I told her to leave it, and I’ll do it myself.

So, I was left on the kitchen sink. I washed the plates, spoons and forks and the containers for the viands. I cooked corned beef with oil and garlic and onions only (which woke up my friend after I prepared the garlic and onions.). I heated the rice with turmeric, reheated the sinigang after placing additional water on it, I heated the chicken adobo until the excess “sabaw” evaporated, and I also washed the dishes but not all of it before we ate our brunch.

I feel embarrassed with how I acted, I pray they forgive me.

With regards to worship… I told a friend I am with awhile ago that we can worship God anywhere, anytime. It doesn’t matter the place and the people you are with. I forgot to tell him though that it’s not just by singing. Worship is not just about singing. It reflects on everything we do. We can worship God on how we author our work with the best that we can give, whether it is by washing the dishes, cooking, even by eating with friends.

I just don’t know if God was enlightened about how I acted awhile ago. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that we won’t get angry. We are still humans. We feel various emotions. So, I served my friends awhile ago to make up with what I did.

I don’t like it pala, when I do everything on my own. I realized that I can’t do everything on my own. I should be humble enough to ask for help when I need it.

I was so full of pride that I did not even said goodbye to them. I went separate way by commuting and them rode the grab car.

I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, you know who you are. Please forgive me, how can I make it up to you? I’m learning. I have so many things to learn in this borrowed life that I have.

Lord, please prepare me for duty tomorrow. I pray for a good night sleep.