It’s been three weeks now since I entered medical school again. I am feeling tired yet I know that I am learning. I am struggling of sleep every night. My classmate Ato Collantes told me that he observed that I always get asleep in class. He added, whether I have a problem or am I just feeling tired. Well, I won’t deny it. I am finding a hard time falling at sleep at night. Sometimes I only get 2-3 hours of sleep at night time, which is so much lacking from the 7-9 hours of sleep needed by an individual.
I don’t have a big problem now, except the anxiety of failing in my exams. I don’t want to fail, that’s why I study at night time. Although, I feel that it is still not enough, because I feel like I have so many things to learn and to catch up. I don’t like to cram anymore just like what I did in 2014 as a first year student. In addition, I am still a first year student by now, because I took a leave of absence in the middle of second semester last 2014.
We have not taken the module 1 exams for this year yet. We are preparing for it. I hope to pass my exams. I have this fear of being average. I don’t want to just become an average student because I have always been at the top of the class since High school, where I graduated Valedictorian and Cum Laude in college. However, due to some circumstances, I am now having a hard time doing what I was doing before. I am still adjusting with my habit of studying. Adding up to that the medication that I have been taking in since 2013. I am under brain medications because of my sickness. I got mentally ill because of being heart broken. Since then, I had a difficult time sleeping at night. So, I took a medication for sleep.
I wonder, is my sleeping pattern affected by my medication? I don’t know. This was also my problem before when I was working. I am often caught sleeping or taking a nap. I hope that this won’t affect my work someday as a doctor when I graduate. I hope that my future mate someday, would understand and accept that I am taking a medicine.
It has been noted that stimulants like coffee and energy drinks, alarm clocks, and external lights—including those from electronic devices—interferes with our circadian rhythm or natural sleep/wake cycle. I only drink coffee when it is really needed, but I am not a coffee drinker. However, I have been drinking coffee lately. Maybe, this is also the reason why I find it hard to sleep at night.
Don’t worry, my neurologist/psychiatrist told me that I am a highly functioning individual, despite the fact that I am taking up a medication. I will do my best to study so I can give the proper care that my future patients need someday. I am a registered nurse and a physician in the making. My goal is to become a medical doctor by 2022. I hope to make it. All glory to God in the highest.