If I see you next to never…

If I see you next to never….How can we say forever? What happened to our friendship? 😐 Right here waiting ang peg ko ngayon. Haay. I just want to say, I did not know bakit ang lakas ng tama ko sakanya… Anong pinakain non sakin? Waaah. I wanna get over na po please. I hope this ends today. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m confident of this. But even though hindi ko siya nakikita, flashbacks of him comes and goes in my mind. I can’t get over! Help! But I know I can. I can!! Struggling.

BUT I just miss him. Paano? I’m half crazy. Hooooow? I miss you!!! My goodness! Looks like you’ve totally forgotten about me. Ang sakit. If you just know, I miss you a lot. What could have happened if it did not happen? But I know everything happens for a reason. And everything will just fall into place. Everything will fall into place at the right time. Maybe just maybe, we’re not meant to be? Question mark because I’m not sure. I hope to have peace. Those sleepless nights… must come to an end. Because this just doesn’t do me any good. Am I having this depressed episodes because we didn’t have any closure to let each other breathe freely? But ofcourse I can breathe freely. We cannot force the lungs to not breathe, it’s an involuntary movement. And the control center is in the brain. But there is nothing for us to close, because there was never an us. Just one day, magigising na lang ako sa katotohanan… That there are things that can not be. Hindi pwedeng ipilit, ang hindi pwede. And just let it be. I know I can do this! This is just a challenge that I need to face and conquer. Yes I can do this! I need to keep myself busy. I need to keep myself busy to avoid thinking about him. So I need divine intervention here. I need help here please. Honestly. I have questions that need answers. But am I ready to know the answers?  If not, when will I be ready? Thanks. Above all, we haven’t talked for two years. Grabe! two years na ang lumipas..Magtatatlo na… I can’t believe we haven’t talked that long. May kirot sa puso ko. And I can’t believe this.. Grabe! I miss you!! Ayoko masanay ng ganito. What happened to us??? Why do you refrain from talking to me?? Why?? 😥