October 15, 2014.
Would it be too late to say thank YOU God for another year that You’ve given me?
Sorry, I have sinned greatly against You. I have placed some people above You in my heart… I know fully that You are so jealous for me. This I know. You love me so much. Thank You!
Thank You for the life that you gave me, despite my mess and my imperfections, You loved me. Despite my physical changes, and though I became fat.. hahaha, You still think I’m beautiful.
Thank You for letting a very close friend of mine pass the board exam! I’m really really really happy that she passed at sa birthday ko pa. Thank You LORD! 🙂
I wanna see her and greet her in person. Wish ko lang. Kailan ako magiging ready? Or should I post in her fb wall na lang although late greeting?? Ha ha.
Thank You also for Mama and Tatay, and Kim and Pao and Papa.
Thank You for Mama.. She loves me so much. She cares a lot.
Thank You for tatay, though I’m not his own child, he treats me like his own daughter. Thank You for Kim, I learn so much from her.. and she inspires me as well. Thank You for Pao, even though he’s busy reviewing for nmat, and though he’s been taking IV therapy training, he was always there for me… to remind me of certain things, that I should’nt be lazy.. haha. At ang sipag niya sa bahay. Para ko na siyang kuya.. at para akong naging bata. haha. Ang tamad ko kasi the past months, maybe because of my sickness. But I know I’m healed na. Diba, LORD? Yes, I declare that I’m already healed. 🙂
I miss Papa. Advance thank you because I will see him again next year. I’ll be going home to Bicol next year to attend my cousin’s wedding.
Thank You also for letting me travel to El Nido with Leigh, Kezee and Abby.
It was a wonderful time with them. I was somehow relieved from the depression that I had for the past months.. since I started medschool. Haha. Ang hirap kasi. But thank you for Your grace! Thank you for the sun, the moon, the sea, the stars, El Nido, the boat,the plane, the fishes and everything!
Thank You also for my friends and for the people I miss so much! I just wanna make it up to them.. How??
Thank You also for Ptr. Niki and Tita Flor. And Lord, the joy that has been stolen from me, I would like to have it back. Because joy has been sapped out of it, my love for the music ministry. It’s gone. My feelings. Can I sing even I’m not on the platform? Can I worship? Even by not singing? Will You take away my voice, if I’ll not use it?
And thank you for my dearest friend/enemy? who blocked me.. it was helpful somehow or not? Ha ha. Sana magbati na kami, in Your time. I’m desperately in need of Your peace. Though he makes my veins boil, I miss him. I don’t want to be angry, coz, it just weighs me down. And I choose not to be angry, mag-kakasakit lang ako. I choose to forgive myself as well.
Thank You for all the lessons You’re teaching me.. In my 24th year of existence, one thing I would never forget is to never mock a pain I haven’t endured. And since, before I usually tell girls who had breakups that it’s just a petty problem.. I know fully now. But the worst thing was there was never an us. So it’s catastrophic and tragic. Haha. And my heart Lord… please guard it securely… it’s so fragile.
And so please check my heart all the time, check my motives..
I know whatever it is that I’m going through right now, You guide my way. You’re carrying me and my burdens. You know all of it.