Tired

It’s been a year now since I stopped singing at church. Will I ever be able to sing praises again? Will I be able to stand and sing on stage without feeling so ashamed?

I miss singing. A lot. I gave myself a disciplinary action by not joining the music team. I know God knows my heart. It’s heavy and burdened. And I’m surrendering it to Him.

I’ve been such a fool last year. So foolish. 2013 was one of the worst years of my life. I’ve taken for granted so many things. My friendship with people I love and care for. Seems like I haven’t learned my lesson from my previous relationships. I’m tired. Really tired. I’ve even gained weight. Recently weighing 154 pounds. I’m overweight. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I ate a lot last year. More than my needed calorie requirement.

But lately, I’ve decided to start exercising again. Thank you Lord! I’ve started with a difficult but rewarding decision. It relieves me from over thinking about so many things. But at the same time, it’s a pain. It’s hard. My joints ache, my muscles ache, my feet, and my entire body. I hope I’ll be able to endure all of this. It’s tiring. But it’s fun.

One of the things that I would like to thank God for is that I was able to overcome what happened to me last year. Last year was not a good year to celebrate my birthday too. The earth shook and took a lot of lives at Visayas. But despite the odds, thank you God!