Hold me, never let me go

I was praying last night, until I slept sitting at my study table, in an orthopneic position. Then, I woke up early in the morning on this day July 9, 2011, I continued my prayer. Then, I had my quiet time with God as I have read Proverbs 9, regarding the invitations of wisdom and of folly. And then, I browsed my facebook, as I looked into the homepage, I saw a picture of an African child with marasmus and yellowish sclera from a link saying “I am proud to be a Christian”. This link was concerned about helping the third world countries in Africa particularly Congo in alleviating poverty as they raise their funds by selling tee shirts with prints of HOPE in front of the shirt.

I was inspired by their cause, and I’d like to help. But then, I don’t have the money or the dollars to buy that shirt. So, it somehow struck me as I remembered this saying in my Belle de Jour planner: Note to self: The world’s problems are bigger than mine. A year from now, I will laugh over the problems I worried about; but poverty, famine and global warming will still be here. And the problems that I was thinking are the separation that my parents went through, other than that I have no money, and I’m still going to wash our laundry. ha ha.

So, I group messaged my church mates on this and that I was asking the Lord to help me to become a productive citizen of this country that I love: the Philippines, and to help me love His people. And then I’ve fallen into sleep again and then I woke up. As I woke up, I’ve read the morning texts of my encouraging friends from church. I was inspired as I’ve read Micah’s, kuya Lowi’s, kuya Sam’s and Ate Grace’s messages.

And then, I’ve looked into the purpose driven life book that Kuya Sam lend me… I opened the chapter: When God seems distant. It said there, “God is real, no matter how I feel”. And the verse was Hebrews 13:5: For God has said “Never will I leave you and Never will I forsake You”

I was double inspired by this verse, then I texted my churchmates again… I told them about this and that I thank God, because He is BIGGER, STRONGER, POWERFUL, and MORE THAN ABLE TO CALM even the strongest typhoon in our lives. ^_^ and that we must never let go of Jesus’ hand.

But I stand corrected by Micah, as she replied… “God won’t let us go, because no matter what happens, we cannot go away from Him whether we want too.. remember the verse saying ‘No one can snatch us away from His hand’? And Jesus is living in us.”

And as she replied that to me, I felt somehow secured… I am so glad to have learned something new today from Micah, who is younger than me, a Pastor’s daughter from Mindoro and my sister in Christ.

Assurance of Salvation: (John 10: 28, 29) “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand”

Dear Jesus, hold me and never let me go. Thank You! ^_^ I love you!

Mr. Stick Man And My Savior

Why was I always thinking about this stick man? He is not even macho. . And he is ‘payatot’, a stick man. And He had a lot of girls before, although I haven’t confirmed that from him. But I became one of his girls BEFORE…

BUT NOW, not anymore! So, I Praise God! Thank you Father because I’m not already his but Yours. I am owned by my Lord in Heaven. I should fix my thoughts on the FACT that I was ransomed by Jesus and I am owned by God. And I love You Father because You found me, when I was in my deepest sorrow of looking for love. You filled me with so much love. And that’s incomparable to what that guy can give me. He’s nothing compared to You Lord! That guy is a stick man,  ha ha,  But my Lord is  Stronger, Greater and the Best Lover that I have ever encountered in my life.

But Lord, what’s with him? Can you please reach that guy for me and keep him from doing certain acts that can distract me? Thank You Lord!

Jae, that stick man has nothing to do with you anymore. Past is past! Haven’t you learned your lesson?  (Deeeep breeeaathing!!!!). Just like what Joshua Harris said, “Don’t nurse a crush”. Okiedokie?

Oh Lord, please Father, help me to control my self. I would even want to erase him as my friend in facebook but then, he’s not even doing anything to distract me, but I’m still distracted. (sigh)

You are precious Jae! So, set your standards high because you were already ransomed by the blood of God’s son. God wants the BEST for you and He has a great plan for you to fulfill and to do. So, to be distracted by such guys would hurt Jesus because it is not yet the right time, and you are not even sure if he is the right man that Jesus have planned for you. And other than that, God wants you to do something for Him and For His Glory.

So, Father, help me to appreciate this person without elevating him above you in my heart. Help me to remember that NO HUMAN can ever take Your place in my life. You are my strength, my joy, my hope, and my ultimate reward. I ask of you, bring me back to reality, God; ‘Give me an undivided heart’ (Psalm 86:11)

Jae, Fix your thoughts on Jesus! Fix your thoughts on Jesus! Fix your thoughts on Jesus!

Lord, I want to focus my thoughts on You.  I want to fix my thoughts on you. Help me. Thank you Father because in You there’s victory! I love you! The stick man is incomparable to You My King. You are My Savior God, My Protector, My Deliverer and My Lord. ^_^

I Will Wait For You

I Will Wait For You -from P4CM

So it seemed, that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me..

So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him

Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THIEF

So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?

I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,

Cause it was ME who let him in…

Claiming we were “just friends”..

It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!

I was gonna make him ‘The One’..

You know… I was tired of being alone,

And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride,

Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride..

A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!

Who was tired of the wait!

So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.

He had a… form of Godliness… but not much..

But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me

Arteries so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me

So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,

That flat lined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back

Through my ignorance He sawed,

Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest

TO transplant Psalm 51:10

A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,

Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,

How much I NEED to wait… for You.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..

Cause in the beginning was the Word

And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –

Which meant NOTHING.

He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to

Asking him to fast would be absurd!

So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…

But I know You.. ♥

You were already praying for me

Even never having met me

Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention

And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.

You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?

His first name LUKE,

His last name WARM.

I, I won’t settle for false companionship

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,

Attempting to find some closeness,

But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held

Cause ♫”all I gotta do is Say” No!

NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’

Passing winks & buying drinks,

I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!♫

Who flirts with the ideology of,

‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’

NO more.

I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you

He won’t even come close,

Our fingers won’t even interlock

We won’t even exchange breath

Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighed down,

From so-called friends & family talks,

About the concern for my biological clock

When I serve the Author of Time.

Who is NOT subject to time,

But I’M subject to Him,

He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,

You would be Abraham & I would be Sara

Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer

I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,

Made up of your rib Adam!

And once we meet, like electrons

I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.

We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.

We were all created in His image,

But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.

If I were to explain what you looked like,

You would have to look like a star,

A son of the Son..

I would gain energy simply from the light that you shine on me.

I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis

I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥

And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,

Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth

Only if you should see fit…

I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of singleness,

My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.

YOU are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest love ever known

You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…

More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT ♥

I Will Wait For You (via * singing my heart out *)

I felt so overwhelmed as I’ve read this post.

I was teary eyed as I was reading the piece that she made. The feeling of reading this poem is different from watching it. Amazing! ha ha. The tears turned to laughter as I watched her deliver. And It made me smile and laugh. I can relate to every lines and every words that she said. The holy spirit spoke so well.

Your spirit can really be comforted from people that had the same struggles as you have experienced. This made me realize how pathetic I was to insist my own will than to follow what God’s will is. But all in all, this boosted my feelings. It made me go back to Our first love, Jesus. ❤

Thank You Lord for the persons that you use for me to be comforted. I Love You Jesus!

Also, thank you ate Feona for sharing WordPress site to me. This is my first post. #blessed

I Will Wait For You -from P4CM So it seemed, that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me.. So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THIEF So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart? I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abettin … Read More

via * singing my heart out *